By Richard Cowper
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He queried vaguely. 'Haven't I always told you, Alvin? Once a lady always a lady! Touiours la politesse. ' Doctor Pfizier took a thoughtful turn up and down the room. 'According to our records you're down as "null libido", Alvin. ' Alvin's eyes opened even wider. ' 'So the records are wrong. P. ' Alvin looked blank. 'I've tried to do my best by you, boy. God knows it hasn't been easy, but I've tried. Now I discover there's a fundamental flaw in the matrix. All my hard work gone for nothing. ' Alvin began to weep silently.
Alvin was puzzled by this exchange and would gladly have prolonged the discussion had not Norbert drawn him forcibly away up the compartment and installed him in a scat well out of casual conversation range. Having placed their luggage and his hat on the overhead rack, the chimp sat down and showed Alvin how to secure his lap belt. Then he extracted a well-thumbed copy of Jeremy Taylor's Holy Dying from his pocket and settled down to read. Alvin looked about him with interest. The seats, which were rather similar in design to those of a 2oth Century jet air liner, were grouped in fours round small tables.
Colin, a sensitive lad, had turned pale and rushed out to the toilet. By the time Professor Pointer got round to Alvin, the last of the four, she felt like an Australian aboriginal who has had the misfortune to find himself on the receiving end of a bone-pointing ritual. After Desmond, totally unprompted, had hallucinated the third version of the same grisly picture, only the obstinacy bred of a lifetime's scientific scepticism had prevented her from charging into the Hammersmith Hospital and demanding an immediate laparotomy.